Talk to Lifeguard

The lifeguard is intensely eating a plate.

"Um, hi?" you say uncertainly.  "Can I ask you a question."

His voice is almost a whisper.  "What do you think this is, kindergarten question time?  Do I look like a teacher?"  His bald head turns without moving his body, blazing red with fury, bits and pieces of fractured plate on his lips.  "DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR TEACHER?"

"No, you look like a total psychopath."

"Sorry to bother you!"

"I think I saw a lifeguard taking too many snacks!"